In a World full of haters and Dog People, us Cat Enthusiasts have to stick together. It’s not a club that welcomes just anyone though. I have compiled the following checklist to separate the true Crazy Cat Ladies (and Gentlemen) from the common folk.
1) You find yourself introducing your cat into completely irrelevant conversations.
Friend: It’s just terrible what’s happening in Ukraine at the moment.
You: Oh I know, Pebbles and I were watching it on the news last night and she got such a fright from the noise of the explosions. It was so cute, she does this thing when she’s scared where she… [cue a five minute explanation of said action, complete with actions]
2) Where most people have a phone gallery full of photos of friends and selfies, yours is full of photos of cats and selfies… with your cat.
3) You own one of these. Or you want one.
4) You just googled ‘where to buy a cat hanger’.
5) You spend more time at parties bonding with the cat than the other people.
6) You have special nicknames for your cat, other than it’s given name.
7) You get excited when you meet another Cat Person so you can talk about cats. (But deep down, you couldn’t care less about their cat, you just want to talk about yours.)
8) When you get home you shout hello to your cats before your family.
9) You would rather sleep on only 10cm of bed than move your sleeping cat and risk it leaving the room.
10) You honestly believe that your cat can understand English.
11) You have attempted to take one of these photos with your cat.
12) Successfully taking one of these pictures would be the highlight of your life.
13) You discuss your life issues with your cat before you discuss them with people.
14) You get defensive when people say dogs are friendlier than cats.
“Cats are totally friendly! You just have to get to know them!!”
15) When overseas you would rather see your cat on Skype than your family.
16) You instantly lose respect for someone when you find out they’re a Dog Person.
17) You would rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out partying with humans.
18) You celebrate your cat’s birthday every year.
19) Your friends shared this article with you.
Remember, next time a Dog Person makes a sneering remark about the inferiority of cats just smile smugly and walk on, because we know better.